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Little Lord Lucifer Lathenby-Lay Wore a top hat every third day. On Monday he wore it to visit the Queen. On Thursday he wore it just to be seen. For Sunday’s outing, in rain shine or hail, You’d see him in church (not once did he fail). But what did he wear on the days…

Half a slice of quarter-to-eight Smothered with six o’clock jam, Bash the shells on a two minute plate And mix with a three second ham. Pour a cup and have a sup Of steaming hot twenty-three past. You helped yourself to four minutes more, So hurry to school and run fast. —

Once I caught a flight of stairs To the land of grizzly bears. I stood on the right, And avoided their bite, But sneezed at the touch of their hairs. — Illustration courtesy of, and copyright, Jools Wilson. Follow her on Twitter.

There’s really no end To being a friend There’s really no way to walk out. If you leave them too long Or pull out their tongue All they will give is a shout. There’s really no end To being a friend There’s really no way you cannot. If you hide all their clothes Or blow…

‘There’s a rat in my room!’ The old man said, ‘So Catta that rat, for I want it dead.’ But the cat was asleep and the rat was not, so it ran round the room with a skip and a trot. ‘It bit my toes, it licked my nose so Catta that rat, for I…

You’re eight and a day And you see right away In the mirror you’re looking at you. It’s unmistakably true You’re just as brand new As last week and all weeks before too. You’re eighteen and just then It happened again, You saw how you look here and now. You have a tattoo and the…