He pinched an inch, he stole a while He even nabbed a crooked mile. He took a chance but with his time This man was just the most sublime. —

I’m using my hat for dinner, I’m having a bowler soup. But if I put it on my head I’ll slowly be covered in gloop. — Illustration courtesy of, and copyright, Jools Wilson. Follow her on Twitter.

The Slother of Alacazee Has no wings (that you can see). It flings itself from nest to nest And takes a month in which to rest. It only moves in time to eat And only then when both its feet Have been licked clean of tasty cheese Which gets washed down with half a sneeze.…

He would not tell me what the stone was for. ‘Carry it,’ he said, walking on ahead and only looking back to make sure his footsteps matched my own. Children collect and parents carry. Stones, sticks, leaves, anything that looked useful in an adventure. The leaf would heal, the stick would hurt, but the stone?…

The day without yesterday began without milk on the doorstep, without mum shouting you’re late, without homework not done, without breakfast as usual without dreams lingering, worries waiting or anything really, except an explosion of me running here and you running there and a feeling everywhere that this was the beginning of something new, of…

I wonder if aliens do what we do Like sitting and reading whilst having a poo. I wonder if aliens see what we see Like whistling and dancing whilst having a pee. I wonder if aliens smell what we smell But really I think they’re polite not to tell.   — Illustration courtesy of, and…

Is there really such thing as a moon with a moon, or is it a thing like a noon before noon? And if a moon has a moon then where does it end? Does the moon of the moon have a moon as a friend? Then if each of these moons should meet once a…

The following poems are early draft versions taken from the full collection, Astro Poetica. Out Now. Click HERE to buy. Sunrise Why does the sun Rise each morning? To see the smile On your face dawning. Stargazers Unlock their bedtimes Lift their faces to the sky Show them how to stare and gasp At things…

I’ve no problem picking out my favourites, whether it be food (ice cream), scarves (red) or planets (Neptune). The same is true of the things I’ve written and right now I’d say that I have TWO favourites. One of them I can’t talk about just yet but it involves some yellow boots. The other should…

with the electron and neutron photon and proton with the graviton and gluon boson and muon life will happily go on and on and on