‘Good morning,’ said Albert.
‘Hello, you’re new,’ said Philippe.
‘So I am,’ said Albert.
‘Pleased to meet you,’ said Philippe.
‘Are you well?’ asked Albert.
‘I am,’ said Philippe. ‘Are you?’
‘Not really,’ said Albert.
‘Oh really?’ said Philippe. ‘How so?’

‘Have you ever heard of a snowman with… hair?’ said Albert.
‘Air?’ said Philippe.
‘Hair,’ said Albert.
‘Like, hair today, gone tomorrow?’ said Philippe.
‘No,’ said Albert. ‘Hair, not here.’
‘Like, hair goes another one?’ said Philippe.
‘No,’ said Albert. ‘Hair, not there.’
‘Oh,’ said Philippe. ‘Like the hair of your chinny chin chin?’

‘Yes,’ said Albert. ‘That.’
‘Then no,’ said Philippe. ‘I haven’t. Why?’
‘No reason,’ said Albert.
‘Go on,’ said Philippe. ‘You can tell me.’
‘Really?’ said Albert. ‘You won’t laugh?’
‘Ice-sea snow-one laughing here,’ said Philippe.
‘Well ok then,’ said Albert. ‘Take a look.’
‘Oh,’ said Philippe. ‘You have hair.’

‘I know,’ said Albert.
‘That’s bad,’ said Philippe.
‘Bad?’ said Albert. ‘Do you think so?’
‘Well maybe not bad…’ said Philippe.
‘Thank goodness,’ said Albert.
‘…but definitely not good,’ said Philippe.
‘That’s bad,’ said Albert.
‘It isn’t good,’ agreed Philippe.’

‘What should I do?’ said Albert.
‘Have you tried brushing it off?’ asked Philippe.
‘Like this?’ said Albert.
‘Oh dear,’ said Philippe.
‘What now?’ said Albert.
‘You’ve made it worse,’ said Philippe.
‘What can be worse than a hairy snowman?’ asked Albert.
‘A hairier snowman,’ said Philippe.

‘What should I do?’ said Albert.
‘Have you tried covering it with something?’ asked Philippe.
‘Snow?’ said Albert.
‘Well you should,’ said Philippe.
‘I said snow, not no,’ said Albert.
‘Oh,’ said Philippe. ‘Yes.’
‘Yes, what?’ said Albert.
‘Yes, cover it with snow,’ said Philippe.

‘Would you help?’ asked Albert.
‘Certainly,’ said Philippe.
‘Thank you,’ said Albert.
‘I can’t reach,’ said Philippe.
‘I’ll kneel down,’ said Albert.
‘You have knees?’ asked Philippe.
‘Of course,’ said Albert. ‘Don’t you?’
‘No,’ said Philippe. ‘Snowmen don’t have knees.’

‘Oh dear,’ said Albert. ‘Is that bad?’
‘It isn’t good,’ said Philippe.
‘Can you help?’ asked Albert.
‘With the knees or the hair?’ said Philippe.
‘Which is worse?’ said Albert.
‘I’d say they are both the same,’ said Philippe.
‘Why?’ said Albert.
‘You have hairy knees,’ said Philippe.

‘Oh dear,’ said Albert. ‘That’s bad.’
‘It isn’t good,’ said Philippe.
‘Can you help?’ asked Albert.
‘How?’ asked Philippe.
‘I don’t know,’ said Albert. ‘Cover them with snow.’
‘Snow good,’ said Philippe.
‘Why not?’ said Albert.
‘I can’t reach,’ said Philippe.

‘Why not?’ said Albert.
‘I think I’m melting,’ said Philippe.
‘So you are,’ said Albert.
‘Is it bad?’ said Philippe.
‘It isn’t good,’ said Albert.
‘Can you help?’ asked Philippe.
‘I don’t think so,’ said Albert.
‘Why not?’ asked Philippe.

‘Because I’m melting too,’ said Albert.
‘Oh dear,’ said Philippe.
‘Don’t worry,’ said Albert.
‘Why not?’ said Philippe.
‘I just remembered something,’ said Albert.
‘What?’ said Philippe.
‘I’m not a snowman,’ said Albert. ‘I’m a BEAR.’
…

‘Philippe?’ said Albert. ‘Philippe, are you there?’

—
Hop over to AMAZON to see more children’s stories by Dom Conlon.

Illustration courtesy and copyright, Jools Wilson.