Mr Tardily-Mess had cobwebs on his hat,
It had three spiders in it and one enormous bat.
When cobwebs fell upon his face, from just the slightest breeze,
The spiders ran into his nose and made the poor man sneeze.

Mr Tardily-Mess had twigs inside his vest,
A wren had placed them inside there, all knotted as a nest.
Whenever eggs began to hatch inside that thorny thatch
The man would shout and even cry, and then begin to scratch.

Mr Tardily-Mess had soil in his pants,
They had six badgers in them, and lots of biting ants.
When soil trickled down his legs and fell into his socks
The ants and badgers scurried down to be eaten by a fox.

Mr Tardily-Mess was not like you or me,
Standing still he’d often be mistaken for a tree.
But those who knew him well and good said they would often find
That though he looked like Mother Earth, he was a lot more kind.

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Illustration © 2015 Jools Wilson